Happily Single: 10 Keys to Contentment During a Season of Singleness

In a society where everything seems to revolve around finding the love of your life and updating your relationship status on Facebook, it can be challenging to feel content in a season of singleness. But, let me reassure you that it is possible. How do I know? Because I am living proof that even if you've never been in a relationship, insurmountable hope, joy and fulfillment can be yours.

Throughout my college years, I have learned that contentment is all about a shift in your perspective--a daily decision to trust God in all circumstances and to see Him at work in every chapter of your life. Here are 10 keys to contentment during a season of singleness:

1.     Cultivate a heart of gratitude - Your praise and thanksgiving is a powerful weapon. Instead of focusing on what you lack, remember and acknowledge all that you have. By doing so, you can fight those feelings of discouragement and give God the opportunity to remind you of His favor and many blessings. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (The New International Version), it says that we should "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Singleness is not God’s way of depriving you of any good thing, but rather it is Him preserving you for someone who will exceed your expectations and bless you beyond measure.

2.     Invest in your family/friend relationships - Cherish every moment, conversation and experience with the people you love. Although family and friends will always be a part of your life, relationship dynamics change when that "special someone" enters the scene. As a single, you have the ability to dedicate your time and primary focus to nurturing these family and friend relationships. By looking beyond our own personal gratification, our vision is cleared and our awareness of others’ needs increases. Perhaps I have needed to be single for the sake of relating and connecting with other single girls in desperate need of a word of encouragement. As you continue to invest in these relationships, believe that God has placed you in their lives for such a distinct reason. As you enjoy and embrace those around you, feelings of loneliness and sadness can subside.

3.     Pursue your God-given dreams - Regardless of your relationship status, go after your goals, dreams and God-given aspirations. Do not wait! One of the biggest mistakes singles often make is waiting tirelessly and missing out on the wonderful things this season has to offer. As you venture on this journey, God will simply insert that special someone into your life. It won’t be a matter of you ending all of your current pursuits and ambitions for the sake of finding someone. Rather, as you dedicate your time and energy to fulfilling God’s call on your life, He will bless you with a teammate along the way—someone who will support your endeavors and challenge you to become all that you can be.

4.     Maintain high standards –The other day, I was driving down a heavily congested road that would lead me to the highway. Those commuting to work were infuriated when the red flashing lights appeared and the gates to the railroad crossing descended. Still a mile away from the tracks, I scanned my surroundings and noticed cars swiftly turning to the left and right hoping to find a nearby detour. Their impatience led them on a path that didn’t ensure immediate arrival and a stress-free, uncomplicated commute. In the same way, don’t settle for second best or get caught up in the wrong relationships out of desperation, but rather hold out for that supernatural relationship that aligns with your standards. No compromises are necessary. Believe that you deserve the best.

5.     Pray regularly – Remember that prayer does not only bring you peace, but it reminds you of who is in control. We often take this responsibility upon ourselves as though we have the capability to orchestrate every tiny detail of our lives. However, the truth of the matter is God has asked us to surrender our plans to him—trusting that He knows best. In His word, He promises that our prayers are powerful and effective. In moments of weakness, impatience and loneliness, lift up your future spouse in prayer and believe that as you pray fervently, God hears you.

6.     Stay in the Word - Instead of spending your time worrying, dive into Scripture and allow God’s Word to replenish your soul. I like to think of God and His words as the ultimate power source. When we plug into this power source, we receive His joy, strength, and wisdom. Unfortunately, we look to other sources that we feel could quench our momentary hunger and thirst. These outlets may provide temporary satisfaction, but they cannot provide long-term fulfillment. Plug into the Power Source—He is your constant supply.

7.     Journal –Throughout my teenage and college years, I began journaling about my experiences and matters of the heart. I would write out my prayers instead of simply speaking them out loud. The more I wrote, the more my prayers transitioned from formal letters to deep conversations with God. I quickly came to the realization that God not only wanted to hear the songs of praise come out of my lips, but he also wanted to hear about the painful and unsettling circumstances I was facing. When you feel alone, journal to the One who fully understands the situation before you utter a single word.

8.     Have faith – In a season of singleness, it is easy to doubt God, especially when we can’t see the big picture. But as you practice patience, be encouraged and know that as you wait and seek God, he is working behind the scenes and orchestrating your love story. He is shaping you and maturing you into the man or woman He has called you to be. If God knit you together in your mother’s womb, then He must understand you better than anyone else. Do you trust Him with your future? Do you believe He knows not only what is best for you, but the timing in which it will all pan out?

9.     Encourage and serve others – During this season, God has given you tasks and responsibilities to serve and provide lasting hope to those in need. Whether serving on the mission field, on your school and church campus or in your local community, you have a unique purpose and contribution to society. Every act of kindness, loving embrace, or word of encouragement makes a difference in the global community. Changing the world begins with you.

10.  Enjoy life –When you drown in your sorrows and convince yourself that there’s a huge gap in your life, the enemy is winning. Don’t let him! You are clothed with the armor of God and can therefore claim victory over the enemy’s schemes. It’s time to experience life to the fullest.

I leave you with this: Take heart! Have faith and believe that God's plan for your life is beyond anything you could ever dream up on your own. Let Him turn your worries and anxieties into great excitement and anticipation for what lays ahead. Give God the pen and let Him write your love story. It is going to be amazing.