At the end of each day, I open my cosmetic drawer, whip out my cotton balls and eye makeup remover and gently wipe away the eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara that I had diligently applied that morning. Since high school my mom has always taught my sisters and I that makeup is wonderful thing when used in moderation...it is meant to enhance our natural beauty (the beauty we already possess), not transform us into a beautiful person. I have always gone for more of a "natural look," but I have grown to rely on makeup for the sake of boosting my confidence and looking a little less like a zombie and a little more like a human being lol! Its benefits are evident and yet something intended for good can become something we hide behind if we are not careful.
Last month, I was going through my daily makeup application routine and felt led to try something: only apply eyeliner on special event/school presentation days and on the other days limit myself to using a little mascara and eyeshadow. At first, I thought this was a challenge that would merely save me some time in the mornings, but over the last few weeks, I have been overwhelmed by how God has used it to speak to me.
The first week of following through with this challenge, was very difficult. I found myself more nervous, insecure, and afraid of what people were thinking to the point I could hardly make eye contact. It scared me that I had grown so reliant upon the eyeliner to feel beautiful--to feel worthy of peoples' friendships, attention, and care. Yet, the more days I pushed past these emotions and unhealthy perceptions of myself, the more I looked into the mirror and saw the true me...the Erin-Rae not trying so hard. As time progressed, my confidence returned, but at a different and heightened level. I felt lovely...lovely because I knew who I was in Christ. It was as if God needed me to remove the layers for Him to remind me of my worth all over again--that this life was less about my appearance and more about my heart towards Him and the people around me.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
--Proverbs 31:30
Three weeks have passed and this challenge has reminded me that our beauty and identity are not found in how fashionable our outfits are or how pristine our makeup or hair looks. God wants us to care for ourselves and I believe he uses makeup in so many ways to bless women and show them that they are His beautiful masterpieces. But he also wants us to feel that same value and worth when we whip out the eye makeup remover and wipe it all off. The person you see in the mirror at the end of the day is just as gorgeous as the person the next day after an hour of preparation.
"You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you." --Song of Songs 4:7
